There are times when you need a helpful nudge to change jobs

I need more energy!

I clearly remember the words spoken by, Giorgio, a client of mine who later also became a friend and is now a successful businessman. He was going through a challenging period where he had been forced to leave his handsomely paid job as a company director. It was a difficult moment in which ... he needed a helpful nudge (he expressed this in his own words which, I'm sure you can imagine, were far more colourful!).

I became his coach: one of the people who gave him a helpful nudge.

This morning I also spoke to a client who is switching jobs. We got together for a
short session, and this served to get them back on track and ... start running!

BNI, an association that I have known since it launched in Italy in 2004 and of which I was also the first Regional Manager, is amongst the newsletters that I read and the networks that I keep track of. Anyone can have their own personal experience with BNI and networking, and it is obvious that BNI's founder Ivan Misner has some very sensible things to say when discussing lack of motivation. Just like any good American would, he offers 5 points that I want to share here while considering work and the desire/want/need to make a change.

1. Minimise contact with negative people

I have seen this advice before. At the beginning of my career as a coach, I read books by the American coach Laura Berman Fortgang who advised to let go of those people who do not have a positive effect on us in times where our mood is low. In short, you must not aim to please everyone all the time and if at a certain point you have to behave selfishly and think of yourselves first, then you can! Give yourselves permission to do just that.

There are people whose outlook on work, and the world as a whole, is negative. “Companies make profits because they sack employees”, “bosses are all corrupt”, etc. It is crucial to remain realistic, but taking back one's own life and being responsible is a true sign of maturity. I metaphorically walk away from my critics, and make sure I only voice my own criticism in private with people I know I can trust. Other than that, I avoid it, even on social media!

2. Maximise the time you spend with people who recharge your batteries!

There are some people who are good for you. They have a good way of going about things, they compliment you without being over-flattering, they speak well of others, they always seek the positive side of things. Try to listen to or meet these people whenever you’re feeling a little low and need to be re-energised.

For example, I was at my father’s side during a long illness - in hospital, in a nursing home and then back at home. I'm not sure whether he was putting on a brave face or whether his faith played a part, but it was always a pleasure to visit him. He was thankful, he attempted to converse about this and that, never complained even though he was in a wheelchair, which for most people of his generation would have been a terrible setback.

Those who appear well are not necessarily those who transmit the most joy, have you noticed that too?

And when thinking about work, a boost doesn’t necessarily have to come from within your professional sphere. When you experience difficulties in your job, it is advisable to draw on out-of-work activities to feel reinvigorated and increase your tolerance for frustration!

3. Read / listen / watch positive things

Sometimes the news is like a crime novel. Sometimes we force ourselves to read books just because we have to get to finish them. Since my profession deals with work, I always read employment data, industry trends and various newsletters. Today, I have the freedom to turn over a fresh page once in a while and take a "breath of fresh air". Perhaps this is because I'm over 50!  

4. Make a list of priorities

There is nothing like experiencing an illness (either yourself or in a loved one), particularly at a young age, to recognise and remember where your life priorities lie. Sometimes I tell myself that by mostly socialising with people of a certain age I only see a downwards life curve, but if that’s the case so be it.

5. Eat the elephant one bite at a time

This is a teaching from several authors that has now become a popular expression. At the end of the day you have to take the first step, in all things. Perhaps the path is not as terrible as it first seems when you looked at it from the outside.